The Elopement

Lilly Faye: Let's say our goodbyes before we leave, Frank.

Mr. Frank: I'm excited about going to France with Doll Face, and attending Le Cordon Bleu cooking school, Sis. My only regret is I won't be here to cook for you every night.

Ceecee: Don't worry about me, Frank. I need to cut back anyway. Your food is a bit rich.

Ceecee: The nights will be a lot longer without you, though.

Lilly Faye: I'll miss you, Alfie.

Alfie Cat: I'll miss Frank's cooking on movie nights. I can't believe I won't be getting any more of his shrimp.

Lilly Faye: Dizzie, you've been the best unpaid blog intern a boss could ever hope for. I'm confident you've got a future in entertainment journalism. You've shown a lot of initiative, especially with your reporting from the Oscars and the Golden Globes. 

I'm giving you the blog password for safekeeping. Don't go overboard ordering cases of Oinkies.

Dizzie: Thanks for taking a chance on me when I was just a young pup, and giving me my first job, Boss. I'm gonna miss you. I don't think I've ever said this before, but I love you, Boss. Sniff.

I want you to have these frequent flyer miles as a wedding present.

Lilly Faye: I thought THE MASTER locked his miles in a vault after the last two times you helped yourself to them.

Dizzie: These are a gift from Chad, my pal on the Scandalous Hollywood Insiders Tonight television show. He said he does so much flying in his job, he could never use up all his miles before they expire. He wants you to have them. 

Chad says to tell the flight crew you and Frank are getting married, and they might bump you up to first class, or at least give you an extra bag of nuts.

Lilly Faye: Frank and I are ready to leave for France, Cali. We've decided to elope! I'm sorry you won't have the chance to be my bridesmaid after all.

Cali: I'm happy for you, Lilly Faye. You finally got your fella! Don't worry about anything here. I'll keep an eye on your place while you're gone.

Lilly Faye: How's Ceecee, Frank? Is she going to be alright?

Mr. Frank: Her knitting needles were clicking like crazy when I left the house, but she's happy for me.

I love you, Doll.

Lilly Faye: I love you, too, Frank.

Mr. Frank: Let's get to the airport, Doll. We don't want to miss our flight!

Dizzie: No, we sure don't.

Mr. Frank: You're not going with us!

The car door slams.

Lilly Faye: Buckle up! 

Vroom!

Bringing Back the Magic

Lilly Faye: I thought once Frank and I got engaged, we'd be seeing more of each other. Instead, he's too busy with his walk-up restaurant to take me out at all!

Alfie Cat: Are you sure you're really engaged, or is this like one of those fake reality dating shows where two people only pretend to get engaged to advance their television careers, then they break up a few weeks later when no one's looking?

Cali: Girlfriend, you need to remind Frank that you're in demand, and he'd better snap you up before someone else does. That should do the trick. Males are very competitive.

Dizzie: I have an idea, Boss. I read in the paper that Trombone Shorty is coming back to town. Didn't Frank take you to see him on your first real date last September?

Lilly Faye: That's right, Diz. You're brilliant!

Later that afternoon...

Lilly Faye: Frank, I just realized it's been exactly one year this month since you moved in next door, and the anniversary of  our first date is just a few weeks away.

I'll always remember that night. You brought me flowers, and bought me dinner, and took me to that jazz club to hear Trombone Shorty.

Mr. Frank: I remember that night like it was yesterday, Doll. Things didn't go the way I'd planned, but you were such a good sport about it, I knew you were the girl for me.

Lilly Faye: That's so romantic, Frank. 

Guess what? Trombone Shorty is coming back to town! I asked Dizzie to order a couple of tickets for us. I want to recreate the magic of our first date.

Mr. Frank: I gotta polish my tuba, in case Shorty asks me to sit in!

Lilly Faye: Please leave your tuba home this time, Frank. I don't want anything interfering with our special date. It's going to be a night to remember!

Mr. Frank: I know it is, Doll. Smooch!

June Mailbag, Summer Fun Edition

Dear Readers,

We've got a lot of mail to answer this month, so let's dive right in. 

Dear Lilly Faye,
I really suffer in the heat. How can I look stylish in this warm weather?
Signed, Ginger

Loose clothing is the answer, Ginger. You're in luck, '70s fashions are back in style. Peasant blouses, palazzo pants, and maxi dresses are all the rage. And of course, a pair of cute sandals goes with everything. 

Hmm, I wonder if I'm too short to wear floral print bell bottoms? 

Cali: Don't forget to drink plenty of water, use sunblock, and lay in the shade whenever possible, Ginger.

Lilly Faye: Thanks, Cali. 

Next, Ralph asks:

Do you have any safety tips for swimming at the beach?

Dizzie, my blog intern, is a Portuguese Water Dog, so I'll let him answer this one.

Dizzie: Hi, Ralph. Never swim alone, always obey the lifeguards, and if you get caught in a rip current, don't try to fight it. Swim parallel to the shore until you are safely out of it's grip. Also, no matter how thirsty you are, don't drink the ocean water.

Lilly Faye: Thanks, Diz. The next letter says:

Dear Frank,
I'm a big fan. Do you have any suggestions for a healthy summer dessert?
Love, Lil Dot

Mr. Frank: I'm really into grilled fruit this summer, Lil Dot. 

Peel and core a fresh pineapple, and cut the fruit into one inch cubes. Wash a couple of handfuls of strawberries, remove the stems, and slice the larger ones in half. Leave the little berries whole.  

Melt a tablespoon of butter in a hot skillet. I prefer a cast iron skillet, myself. You can also make this in a pan on a hot grill outdoors. 

Toss the pineapple cubes in the pan, and stir once to spread the butter evenly and make sure every piece of pineapple is touching the bottom of the pan. Leave it alone for a few minutes while the pineapple caramelizes. Then toss in the strawberries and a handful of red seedless grapes, and give it all a good stir. Lightly sprinkle ground cinnamon over the fruit.

Let the fruit cook a few more minutes, stirring occasionally, until all sides of the pineapple are caramelized. It's done! Don't add any sugar or sweetener of any kind. The fruit will be very sweet on its own.

Lilly Faye: That sounds good, Frank. I hope you'll fix some for me.

Mr. Frank: Anything for you, Doll.

Lilly Faye: Our last letter is from our own Alfie Cat:

Now that summer is here, the endless days of hunting and fishing are growing monotonous, and all my favorite shows are in reruns. I could use some new ideas for summer entertainment.

Lilly Faye: I'm going to throw this one over to Ceecee.

Ceecee: There's no need for you to be lonely and bored, Alfie. Come on over and spend time with me.

Ceecee: I'll share my beach reads with you. We can form our own summer book club for two.

Lilly Faye: How about that, Alfie? Alfie? Alfie seems to have disappeared.

Well, that's all for this time, folks. Keep writing, and we'll keep answering your mail.

Love,

Lilly Faye

A Typical Day at the Blog

Dear Readers,

Some of you have written in asking what a typical day is like here at the blog.

The photos come first. Dizzie, my blog intern, is our photographer.

Lilly Faye: Dizzie, don't you dare take my picture! I haven't been through hair and makeup yet!

SNAP! 

Dizzie: Look, Boss! I took another selfie!

Lilly Faye: We usually finish the photo shoot around noon.

Cali: Is Frank bringing lunch today?

Ceecee: No. Frank is watching cooking videos on YouTube.

Lilly Faye: After lunch, I encourage my staff to stretch their legs and participate in morale building activities...

Alfie Cat: Help! What's the safe word? I can't remember the safe word!

Lilly Faye: ...while I catch up on my reading.

By then, we all need a nap.

Lilly Faye: So you see, Dear Readers, blogging is a hard job, and not nearly as glamorous as it appears.  But it's also an important job, and we're happy to do it for you.

Love,

Lilly Faye