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Showing posts with label Lilly Faye's Guide to Business. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lilly Faye's Guide to Business. Show all posts

Friday, August 15, 2014

Lilly Faye's Guide to Business: Why Office Staff Meetings are Often Unproductive


Dizzie: Why are you here, Boss?

Lilly Faye: I've called a blog staff meeting to discuss the fall schedule. Didn't everyone get the memo?

Dizzie: I didn't get the memo. I never get the memo. How come no one ever sends me the memo?

Lilly Faye: As my blog intern, you're in charge of sending out the memos, Diz.



Dizzie: Oh, right. I knew that. Harrumph.

Lilly Faye: Alfie, please go ask Ceecee to join us. I want to coordinate with her on some upcoming book reviews.



Alfie Cat: Me? I can't talk to her! In fact, I can't talk at all when she's looking at me. She put some kind of spell on me. She's a witch.



Lilly Faye: Don't be ridiculous, Alfie.

Dizzie: She put a love spell on him, same as Willow did to me! (sobs) I'm going out for some air.




Lilly Faye: What's wrong with Dizzie?



Alfie Cat: Willow has been spotted cavorting underneath the pier with another dog. It's all over Dogspace and Woofer.



Lilly Faye: Oh, poor Diz. That's got to hurt. It's probably not even true. You know how it is with social media. People just make stuff up. Let's try to be understanding, and give him some space. 

I'll phone Ceecee.




Lilly Faye: (on phone)  Ceecee, can you come over for a few minutes? I'd like to discuss the blog schedule with you. You don't leave your house? Ever? Yes, I have heard of Laura Hillenbrand. Uh huh, uh huh. Yes, she is amazing. No, I didn't read the book, but I saw the movie. Okay, I'll discuss the schedule with you another time. Bye.

Lilly Faye: Maybe Cali has some ideas.

(On phone) Hello, Cali? Lilly Faye here. Would you do me a favor and come over on your break? I could use your help brainstorming ideas for the blog's fall schedule.



Cali: (on phone) I can't help you there, Lilly Faye. I'm not an outside-the-box type of thinker. I like to stay inside the lines.



Lilly Faye: (on phone) But surely someone who spends all of their waking hours observing the world must have...oh, never mind. Thanks anyway, Cali.



Alfie Cat: Maybe we should call Frank.



Lilly Faye: Frank doesn't work for the blog.

Alfie Cat: I know. But maybe he'll make us some lunch.

Lilly Faye: Lunch! It's not even noon yet, and besides, we haven't accomplished a thing!




Dear Readers,

The key to conducting productive staff meetings is getting your employees to leave their personal problems at home. If you figure out how to do that, please contact me here at the blog!

Love,
Lilly Faye


Monday, June 9, 2014

Lilly Faye's Guide to Business: Benefits Are Key to Employee Retention (Part 4 of 4)



Lilly Faye: Are you all refreshed after your beach vacation, Diz?




Dizzie: Yes, Boss!




Lilly Faye: Are you motivated to get back to work?




Dizzie: Yes, Boss!





Lilly Faye: Say it with me, then. "Go team, A Poodle Looks at Life! Bark!"




Dizzie: "Go team, A Poodle Looks at Life! Bark!"




Lilly Faye: Good. Now let's review a movie.




Dizzie: (Snoring)




Alfie: I could have told her, vacations are exhausting.


Friday, June 6, 2014

Lilly Faye's Guide to Business: Benefits Are Key to Employee Retention (Part 3 of 4)


Lilly Faye has promised Dizzie a beach vacation in lieu of a salary. Will a vacation benefit be enough to satisfy her unpaid blog intern and earn his loyalty? Let's find out...







 























Tune in Monday to find out if their trip to the beach did the trick!


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Lilly Faye's Guide to Business: Benefits Are Key to Employee Retention (Part 2 of 4)




Lilly Faye: Hi Cali.

Cali: Hey, how you doin' Lilly Faye?

Lilly Faye: Being a boss is turning out to be more of a headache than I expected. If Dizzie doesn't get his act together soon, I may have an opening for a new unpaid blog intern. Are you interested?






Cali: I'd love to be neighborly and help you out Lilly Faye, but I'm on guard duty pretty much 24/7. I really don't have time to take on another job. Thanks for thinking of me, though.






Lilly Faye: Well, do me a favor and don't mention this to Dizzie.

Cali: Don't worry about that. Dizzie and I aren't exactly water bowl buddies. 


Later...





Lilly Faye: Dizzie, I've been thinking. I still can't offer you a salary, but I do want to give you an incentive to keep working for me. How would you feel about an all-expenses-paid beach vacation, courtesy of the blog?






Dizzie: Seriously, Boss? Oh wow, I'd love that! Can we go to Tahiti? I've always wanted to go somewhere exotic.






Alfie: You should ask her how she can afford to take you on a trip, when she doesn't have any money to pay you.






Dizzie: Who cares? It's a beach vacation! Woo, hoo!






Lilly Faye: We're not going to Tahiti, Diz. It's too far away.

Dizzie: Hawaii, then?

Lilly Faye: Hawaii is almost as far away as Tahiti.





Dizzie: The Caribbean?






Lilly Faye: Somewhere closer.






Dizzie: Hmmmm. I know! Cape Cod! There's a huge Portuguese population in Cape Cod. I could immerse myself in my native culture...the people...the language...the food. I can't wait to taste salt cod and sweet bread. I can almost smell the fish stew already!






Alfie: Something about this does smell fishy.

Lilly Faye: Closer, Diz.





Dizzie: Closer than Cape Cod? How close, exactly, Boss?







Lilly Faye: We'll walk!


To be continued...