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Friday, August 15, 2014

Lilly Faye's Guide to Business: Why Office Staff Meetings are Often Unproductive


Dizzie: Why are you here, Boss?

Lilly Faye: I've called a blog staff meeting to discuss the fall schedule. Didn't everyone get the memo?

Dizzie: I didn't get the memo. I never get the memo. How come no one ever sends me the memo?

Lilly Faye: As my blog intern, you're in charge of sending out the memos, Diz.



Dizzie: Oh, right. I knew that. Harrumph.

Lilly Faye: Alfie, please go ask Ceecee to join us. I want to coordinate with her on some upcoming book reviews.



Alfie Cat: Me? I can't talk to her! In fact, I can't talk at all when she's looking at me. She put some kind of spell on me. She's a witch.



Lilly Faye: Don't be ridiculous, Alfie.

Dizzie: She put a love spell on him, same as Willow did to me! (sobs) I'm going out for some air.




Lilly Faye: What's wrong with Dizzie?



Alfie Cat: Willow has been spotted cavorting underneath the pier with another dog. It's all over Dogspace and Woofer.



Lilly Faye: Oh, poor Diz. That's got to hurt. It's probably not even true. You know how it is with social media. People just make stuff up. Let's try to be understanding, and give him some space. 

I'll phone Ceecee.




Lilly Faye: (on phone)  Ceecee, can you come over for a few minutes? I'd like to discuss the blog schedule with you. You don't leave your house? Ever? Yes, I have heard of Laura Hillenbrand. Uh huh, uh huh. Yes, she is amazing. No, I didn't read the book, but I saw the movie. Okay, I'll discuss the schedule with you another time. Bye.

Lilly Faye: Maybe Cali has some ideas.

(On phone) Hello, Cali? Lilly Faye here. Would you do me a favor and come over on your break? I could use your help brainstorming ideas for the blog's fall schedule.



Cali: (on phone) I can't help you there, Lilly Faye. I'm not an outside-the-box type of thinker. I like to stay inside the lines.



Lilly Faye: (on phone) But surely someone who spends all of their waking hours observing the world must have...oh, never mind. Thanks anyway, Cali.



Alfie Cat: Maybe we should call Frank.



Lilly Faye: Frank doesn't work for the blog.

Alfie Cat: I know. But maybe he'll make us some lunch.

Lilly Faye: Lunch! It's not even noon yet, and besides, we haven't accomplished a thing!




Dear Readers,

The key to conducting productive staff meetings is getting your employees to leave their personal problems at home. If you figure out how to do that, please contact me here at the blog!

Love,
Lilly Faye


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