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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

A Behind-the-Scenes Report From the Emmys!

Dear Readers,

Did you watch the 66th Primetime Emmy Awards on NBC? I thought Seth Meyers did a good job as host. His jokes were funny without being too crude, he avoided any big bloopers, and he kept the show moving, which is very important in a 3-hour broadcast.

Surprisingly, the only segment that really fell flat was Stephen Colbert's bit about his imaginary friend. I don't know what went wrong there, but it was a major fail.

Oh, hold on. My blog intern, Dizzie, is ringing in on Skype. Hello, Diz. Did you watch the Emmys?

Dizzie: I didn't just watch, Boss. I attended the awards in person!

Lilly Faye: How on earth did you get to Los Angeles, Diz? I thought you used up all THE MASTER'S frequent flyer miles when you made that surprise trip to the Oscars in March.

Dizzie: True, but I did a little research online, and discovered it's possible to stow away in the wheel well of a 747. It actually wasn't bad. I slept my way across country.

Lilly Faye: What's it like in LA, Diz?

Dizzie: They speak a whole different language out here, Boss. You should have heard some of the words the ground crew said when I jumped out of the wheel well of that airplane! 

They wanted to take me in for questioning, but I was in a hurry, so I slipped away and hopped in a limo that was waiting at the curb. Fortunately, it was taking Jimmy Fallon to the Nokia Theater anyway, and Jimmy let me tag along.

Lilly Faye: That's remarkable, Diz. What can you tell us about the show?

Dizzie: Many of the actresses were wearing red, and quite a few were wearing sparkly pastels. I only saw a couple of blue and black gowns. Scandal's Kerry Washington was striking in orange.

Lilly Faye: So it appears I'm right on trend, as usual. Good to know.

Dizzie: Breaking Bad was a big winner, and Modern Family picked up several statuettes again this year, despite some stiff competition. Sofia Vergara took a shine to me. She was running her hands through my hair, and talking a mile a minute.

Lilly Faye: What did she say?

Dizzie: I have no idea. I couldn't understand a word, but I got a funny little thrill when she was touching me.

Lilly Faye: Did you get a good seat?

Dizzie: I started out sitting next to Sarah Silverman, but I was getting woozy from her perfume. At least, I think it was perfume. Anyway, when I got up to get some air, Matthew McConaughey called me over. He said I could hunker down between him and his wife. Actually, I had a pretty good view, because their seats were near the stage.

Lilly Faye: How are you going to get home, Diz?

Dizzie: Weird Al Yankovic is giving me a lift back to the airport. He's going to buy me a ticket, so I don't have to ride in the wheel well again. He said he's had a pretty good year, so it's the least he can do. He loves dogs, you know. He even has a rescue poodle!

Lilly Faye: Thank him for that, Diz. Stay safe, and call me when you touch down. I'll pick you up at the airport.

Dizzie: Will do, Boss! 

Lilly Faye: And there you have it, Dear Readers, an exclusive behind-the-scenes report from the Primetime Emmys, thanks to my blog intern, Dizzie.

Congratulations to all the winners, and to everyone else, better luck next year!

Lilly Faye

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