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Thursday, January 22, 2015

Everyone's an Author

Mr. Frank: How's it going, Doll Face?

Lilly Faye: I've been thinking about writing a book, Frank. How does A Poodle's Guide to Dating sound? Literary agents want you to have a platform before querying them about a nonfiction project, so I plan to use my blog as my platform.

Mr. Frank: What a coincidence! I've been thinking about writing a book, myself. Either a cookbook like Mr. Frank's Big Eats, or maybe a memoir about my life as a busker. I've picked up all kinds of interesting stories while busking. I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I used your blog as my platform, seeing as how we're going steady.

Lilly Faye: Well....

Dizzie: You're better off sticking with the cookbook idea, Frank. I'm writing a memoir myself.

Lilly Faye: How can you write a memoir, Diz? You're still a pup!

Dizzie: I'll be two years-old next week, Boss. Besides, I've seen and done a lot already. I could write about my exciting travel adventures, and meeting movie stars. After all, I've reported from New York Fashion Week, the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, the Oscars, the Emmys, and the Golden Globes. I'll bet I could get Meryl or Clooney to write an introduction for my book. Of course, I'll use the blog as my platform, since I work here.

Alfie Cat: I plan to write my own expose´about you clowns, if anyone is interested. It will be a down-and-dirty, behind-the-scenes look at what really goes on at the blog.

Lilly Faye: What do you mean, Alfie? We're not hiding anything. What you see is what you get at the blog.

Alfie Cat: Don't delude yourselves. I know where all the poop is buried.

Cali: I'd like to write a book called A Dog's Guide to Self-Protection. I'd offer sensible guidance to help folks stay safe. My first piece of advice is to adopt a dog. I hope you don't mind if I use your blog as my platform, Lilly Faye, since we're best friends.

Lilly Faye: Sigh. Ceecee, we haven't heard from you yet. I suppose you want to write a book, too.

Ceecee: I'd like to write a cozy mystery about a sweet little Calico cat who knits in between drinking tea with milk and solving crimes. I would include my own knitting tips, and easy-to-follow instructions for a simple knitting project at the end of the book. Cozy mystery readers love crafts almost as much as they love mysteries.

Lilly Faye: Well there you have it, Dear Readers. I guess it's true, everybody wants to write a book.

Lilly Faye

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